Scuzzy and Wuzz and the Ship of Fools

They learn what they can find out about the tower and the coins. Dalt continues teaching Oola the Architects’ language. Kedrihm learns a bit more about Dathomir--practical stuff, this time, like local plants and wildlife. Zann gathers spy stuff for their trip to Bimm. The Council wants them to run medical supplies to the front and get a look around out there. Zann doesn’t come with, since he’s got other work to do.

But on the way, they get ambushed by dumb pirates. These guys quickly deflate when they find out they’ve just hijacked a Jedi ship, but before they can escape from their captives, both ships get sucked up by an Imperial officer in an Old Republic ship. Actually, it's an old Jedi prison ship converted into a Republic medical ship. While the officer talks to them, laying down his terms of surrender, the crew sees someone in a clown outfit playing with the controls behind him.

They get tractor-beamed into the bay, where they decide to get out and look around. The pirates don’t want to be left alone in a place like this, so they come too, hoping the Jedi will protect them. Inside the bay, they spot markings that indicate it’s a mental hospital ship. That's not reassuring, but it would explain the clown.

Oola hacks into the ship’s systems to open the inter docking bay door, but she notes that the ship’s power is routed weirdly. Still, she manages it. She has to do it again when they take the elevator, where she gets into a hacker battle. She aims up, the lift goes down. Then someone shuts off the elevator's power. The group escapes through the shaft onto another floor. Gravity is off here, and they find bodies floating in the hallway.

Ree asks for the pirates’ names: Scuzzy, Wuzz, three mercenaries named Corben, Ventrim, and Kit, and a mysterious individual in a cloak. Ree presses the hooded figure, who gives up and pulls the hood down. It’s Jude. Somehow, Ree isn’t surprised.

They continue exploring, Ree in the lead (Jude comments that Jedi explode if they don’t go first; Scuzzy and Wuzz take that literally). There are signs of a struggle, some blaster marks on the bodiesThey climb up service ladders and find dead clone troopers and lightsaber marks on the next level. A force field locks down part of the floor due to a hull breach, so they divert to the floor where the cells are located.

One room here is blocked by a force field. Two med droids sit inside, deactivated. Another room contains an organic signature. Oola checks with SARR, who says he's “perfectly fine, Master.” Oola: “I’m not your master, SARR.” “I thought any breathing being was my master.”

While scoping out the cells, they hear footsteps. Three people on patrol duty, wearing piecemeal clonetrooper armor and a lot of weapons. One comments, “Let’s go check on Sleeping Beauty,” then peers into the room with the life-sign, then they turn down a hall and leave.

The crew checks that same room once the patrol clears out. It’s a Jedi in a healing trance. Ree shakes the guy awake, but the three patrolmen come back around. Ree steps out with her lightsaber, and one charges at her waving a food tube, making zapping noises. Ree knocks them all out.

The Imperial officer comes on the screen in the Jedi's room. When they ask if he knows Thrawn is active, he mocks them, calling him Grand Admiral Prawn. Then the clown blows the airlocks.

They quickly head up another floor, tugging the unconscious patrolmen along. While Ree cuts a hole in the metal lock sealing the service ladders, she talks to the Jedi they rescued, who gives his name as Severi Teiak. They give him a brief run-down of the last few decades, which he’s apparently missed, but he stops them when they tell them about the Empire’s reign. Says it’s too much to take in just now.

The next floor has access to the ship’s records. The last log is of clone troopers turning on the Jedi on the ship, then someone overrides the systems and opens all the cell doors. The ship was a med-ship for mostly harmless loons, with only a few dangerous prisoners. The group is now only four floors from the bridge, so they head up. Ree cuts through another metal shield and finds herself on a floor saturated with helium. They find another tube, and Oola drains the gas out.
“They turned the ship into a funhouse.”
Scuzzy says, “I would, if I had the chance.”
Ree: “That’s good to know about you.”
Wuzz thinks that’s a come-on from her, and tells Fuzz he’s lucky.

Severi: “Since we have a few minutes, what do you mean the Sith took over the galaxy?” They explain a bit more.

The Imperial pops up on-screen again. “You got past the helium trap. Cagey.” He wants to know if they let the droids out. “They’re crazy,” he says. “They know all about this ship.”

On the next floor, they find the dangerous inmates, or at least their descendants. A lot of force fields on this floor keep them sealed into certain areas. These guys apparently worship the food synthesizer and eat people. There seems to be some inbred devolution going on.

The Imperial pops up on-screen again. “Let us out,” Ree says. “Should we let them out?” he asks the clown girl. She shakes her head. “Every time he talks to the clown person, something bad happens,” Kedrihm notes. And the force fields go down. They’re driven down from that floor by crazy cannibal barbarians. Oola holds up the force fields briefly so they can escape, and spikes the clown’s systems in revenge. Stymied for the moment, they decide to head back down to fetch the med-droids.

When most of the group enters the room with the droids, cautious in case they awaken violently, Severi shoves Oola into the room, re-activates the force field lock, kills the two mercenaries who’d stayed outside, and runs. Luckily, Jude was also outside, hiding around the corner. She deactivates the field again and mocks them for not expecting him to turn bad. “That was fairly obvious.”

Great. An insane Jedi? That can only be bad.

Oola gets one of the droids operational by scrounging parts from the others. Ree explains what’s been going on. It’s dismayed to hear they let the Jedi out, to say the least. It calls him a “thing” in a room at the end of the hallway, and says they found “it” floating in space in a black metal coffin. The droid doesn’t know how it ended up in that room. Oola radioes SARR to warn him against roaming rogue Jedi. “Now you’ve hooked up with another medical droid,” he grumbles.
“It means nothing, SARR, you’re still the only droid for us.”

Meanwhile, the others talk in the background.
Z: “I don’t have the Force. If I did, I’d hope someone would've knee-capped me a long time ago.”
Scuz: “Man, Boba Fett’s scary. Imagine if he could use the Force.”
Kedrihm'Val, messing with them just a little: “He couldn’t use the armor. It’s anti-Force, right?”
Ree, not catching on right away: “No, it’s not...oh.”
Jude: “Wow, I got the active genes.”

They call the 'Imperial officer' and warn him about the “Jedi-thing.” He doesn't buy it at first, till Ree does the mind trick on him. After that, he decides he likes them, locks down the crazy people, and lets the group on the bridge. They learn that the clown droid was meant to entertain kids, but the inmates reprogrammed it and gave it weapons. “It’s a bit crazy,” the officer tells them. Ree asks to look at the storage room for the black coffin. The Imperial guy agrees, announcing, “Okay, some people are going into the storage room. Pay no attention, they’re not real.”

The box is evil. The crate it’s in is labeled 'Do not touch.' “Let’s go touch the evil box," Ree says before she pries it open. Inside is a Sith stasis unit.

Ree calls Luke to infodump. “Is that a clown in the background?” he asks. It’s skulking menacingly behind them, but not doing anything particular. Ree comments, “It’s like SARR with facepaint.” Kedrihm'Val adds, “They’re made for each other.” “Keeping my eyes on you,” the clown droid mutters to them. Scuzzy interrupts Ree's conversation to ask, “Is that Luke Skywalker? Did Vader eat you through his chest of horrors?” (Note: I have no idea what that even means, but wouldn’t be surprised if Scuzzy said it anyway.)

Oola uses ship sensors to locate Severi and learns that an escape pod jettisoned toward Thule lines. How’d he know to go that way? Anyway, they radio the Republic fleet about him. The Republic forces report that the Chimera intercepted a pod in that vicinity about 15 minutes ago. Oh, boy. Thrawn's in the vicinity.

Then the pirates’ ship lifts off and blows out of the docking bay. The clown droid catches it in a tractor beam. As the crew races down to the hold, the tractor beam cuts loose and the ship gets away. The guy mind-whammied the bridge. Z is able to tag the ship with a tracker, and they pursue in the Starwind.

A little ways out, the Chimera hails them. Thrawn wants to know why they're chasing a pirate ship. Fair question, considering this crew. Ree doesn't want to tell him that she's in pursuit of a Sith, but as usual, she can’t think of a decent lie. “Ah," says Thrawn. "That pause tells me a lot.” He informs them that the Chimera is standing aside on the matter. The implication is that he's not here to concern himself with internal matters of Republic jurisdiction, but honestly, it's not like he's really fooled.

Oola nails the pirate ship with an ion cannon while the others quickly try to figure out who or what they’re actually chasing. Obviously he's Sith, and they don't have any real clues as to which one, though Ree recalls that Darth Bane notably dropped off the face of the galaxy without ever being accounted for--ran off to train apprentices, if she recalls the legend right. Gosh, that'd really suck.

While they prepare to board the pirate ship, Kedrihm'Val mind-whammies Scuzzy and Wuzz with the order, “Stay.” Corben and the others help. When Ree asks why she's helping, Jude answers, “It’s better than talking to her mom.” “Talk to her lately?” Ree asks. “We’ll save that for later,” Jude replies. Then SARR cuts in with, “He’s on the hull?!”

Indeed he is. The Sith lightsabers their engines out. Oola electrifies the hull. Witnessing this (because the Chimera's just lurking off to starboard, watching their every move), Pellaeon comms them, sarcastically asking, “Hey, gang...isn’t there trust?”

The Sith uses the Force to pull the pirate ship to him. SARR shoots at him, then Oola grabs him in a tractor beam and bangs him off the pirate ship, seemingly knocking him unconscious. Not that he's wearing a spacesuit or anything. In space. Standing on their outer hull. Is this guy even human?

They comm Kyp, then Pellaeon generously offers aid. Since the Starwind’s engines are out of commission (and not even attached, at this point), the pirate ship's exhaust ports just had a Sith head rammed up them, and the med-ship is full of insane people, they don’t have many options. They retrieve the box from the med-ship and tell Pellaeon about the Sith (because a good way to die would be by not telling Thrawn they just put a Sith on his ship). When they turn Darth Whatsisface over to the Chimera's medical team, Ree tells the med-droid, “We do have some ysalimiri hormone.” “Why is that useful?” asks Pellaeon, who’s observing nearby. “You can inject it into people?” Crap. That's right, he's almost as sharp as Thrawn.

The Chimera has Jedi-holding cells. You know...on one hand, yay, they lucked out with probably the only ship in the Imperial fleet outfitted to hold this guy captive, but on the other hand, they ended up on probably the only ship in the Imperial fleet outfitted to hold Force users captive. While they cart Darth Whatsisname down to the cells, Kedrihm'Val senses a vibration in the Force, as if someone had just done something. But none of the others notice anything, and all claim it wasn’t them… Maybe he was imagining it? Or could there be another Force user on board?

Pellaeon has them escorted to guest rooms so they can rest, which surprisingly they do, till alarms go off across the Chimera. They don't even have to ask why. They just head down to the brig to verify that the Sith has escaped. Pellaeon is already there, interrogating the stormtrooper who let him out--that must be what Kedrihm sensed, the Sith putting the mind-whammy on one of his guards. Apparently the bastard wasn't quite unconscious after all.

They can’t track the Sith through scanners, and Ree and Kedrihm can’t feel him when they try to locate him through the Force. SARR interjects, “I did insert an anal tracker.” Pellaeon, in the voice of experience, asks, “Why anal, SARR?” “Because it amused me,” the droid replies.

They follow the guy toward the hangar bay. Kedrihm spots him in storm trooper armor and points him out. Z flings a stun grenade at him, but the guy Force-throws another storm trooper into it, then mind-whammies five more to help him. Oola takes those out with static in their helmet-comms. Ree closes in on the Sith while Jude and Kedrihm'Val circle around behind him.

Ree asks, “Do we have to do this?” The Sith doesn’t answer, instead using Force lightning on the TIE fighters docked nearby, creating a web of lightning that extends through three quarters of the bay. Z whips out his flechette launcher while Pellaeon snarls to the rest of the storm troopers, “There are 40 of you, OVERBEAR HIM!” Kedrihm helpfully shoves the Sith at the troops to knock him off-balance, and they pile on...only to go flying off again a moment later in a shower of Force lightning. Pellaeon growls, “By overbear, I meant tie him down.”

They lose the Sith in the mess of storm troopers, till Kedrihm'Val and Oola spot him trying to sneak off. He throws a TIE fighter(!) into the hangar’s main control panel, depressurizing the bay and causing mass mayhem. Thrawn, now awake and on the bridge, overrides that. Kedrihm strikes the Sith again, knocking him toward Ree, who hurls him into a TIE fighter and cuts an arm off, which finally knocks him out. Pellaeon applauds--hard to tell whether it’s sarcastic, but he doesn't exactly seem like a spontaneous clapper--before having him carted back to med-bay, along with his arm.

Ree notes that they just turned over a Sith’s genetic material to Grand Admiral Thrawn, but there’s not much they can do about it now.

The Chimaera transports them most of the way back to Coruscant, where they rendezvous with Republic ships and come back to the temple with their, er, trophy.